Friday, May 21

Reflections after one year of Greta

You know how it is when you're dating, engaged or newly married, and you're going through what some people call the "honeymoon stage" - where your feelings about your loved one are so intense and so numerous that the most you can say about him/her is just that you "love" him/her so much? Well, I am still going through that with Greta. It's been just a year since her birth. And I'm still not reasonable about my feelings for her. Perhaps that is part of the magic of mothering. So I'm dedicating this post to her. Caveat. It will be everything emotional, sappy, and sentimental that can usually only be expressed in one big, Greta-hug.

So what is she like? Simply put, she's a little Josh. Personality-wise, she is a calm, but affectionate child. She loves to play and interact with other children and adults. However, she also amuses herself, as she is doing right now, in her little play area. She is such a happy baby! That is one of my favorite things about her. No matter where we are, or what we are doing, at least one stranger comes up to us and raves over her smiles. Whenever she and I are having a bad at home, I take her out. We'll go to a coffee shop, the co-op, the grocery store... anywhere we can find other people. It cheers her up to no end to be around other people. Going to resturants with her is one of our favorite activities. To begin with, Josh and I love eating out. Yeah, it's expensive, and yes, it probably isn't the most healthy, but it is our way of spending time together, enjoying a good meal, and not worrying about the dishes. Since Greta has learned to eat solids and sit up, she loves to join us. We ask for a booth seat, then one of us sits on the outside of the booth, while she stands or sits next to us. She can move around and look at people while Josh and I enjoy watching her.

Since having Greta, my theory of being "pro-life" has boiled down to this: if you want to convince people that children are indeed the blessing we believe them to be, then raise them to be the kind of people you would like to be around, and take them out in public! Too often, people have negative associations with regards to children - they are messy, loud, obnoxious, sick, dirty, etc. Well, you can't always help the occasional flare-up, but on the whole, you know your children and you know how they interact with people. I think that the reason most people don't want to have children or postpone having them indefinitely is because they share these all too common assumptions about children. How do you change minds and hearts? By the simplest and most effective means - example. Show folks that kids can indeed sit still in church (ok, we don't have that down yet), don't have to throw temper-tantrums in the store, allow their parents to eat in peace at a resturant. I'm not saying that there won't be an off-day, but generally you can count on more good than bad days.

So now that we're expecting Number 2, I'm worried. Worried because Greta is such a good kid, who I really couldn't improve upon. Worried that since every kid is different, that this next kid can only go downhill because I can't conceive of a nicer baby than Greta. I know it's silly, but who ever said that pregnancy improved one's rationality? Well, at the very least, Baby Number 2 will have a very good big sister to look after him/her.

Final thoughts? A year ago, I had no idea what to expect, but that didn't stop me from thinking about parenting. I would say that overall, having a child is more enjoyable than you could ever imagine. The love you feel for that growing child - who just gets more loveable and interesting as time passes - helps to smooth the harder parts of parenting. Yes, it's hard to wake up at night to nurse, I dislike poopy diapers as much as ever and pawn them off on my kind husband at every available instance, coughs and colds still leave me in a panic of uncertainty, and it is always a sacrifice to not do everything you want to do when you want to do it. But the part that you really can't imagine until you have your baby is how much love you can give. That love is what makes all the difficulties, sacrifices, and inconveniences less onerous, if not an actual joy.

Thank you, my Greta darling, for being a part of our lives and for bringing so much joy and happiness with you. Your daddy and I love you!

2 comments:

  1. Oh Maria, great minds think alike. I felt exactly the same way about having an easy baby followed by a not-so-easy baby, worrying about how the baby you already know and love will react to a new unknown baby, etc. It's too easy to just say, "Don't worry! It will work out!", because you know it will, but you still worry. But, when you actually start to see them loving on each other, you'll stop worrying so much. It's pretty awesome :)

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  2. I have had many of these same thoughts...almost to the point that I can see having just Charlie and being very happy!

    One mother said, the biggest compensation with having two (with the guilt of not being their for both of them like you were for one)...is seeing them love each other...and I like the idea of that.

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