Why I love being a stay-at-home mommy

I'm writing this post in the aftermath of a very good day (pregnancy included), which followed a very bad day (blame it on the hormones). As I was sitting on my counter, eating chocolate ice cream, reflecting on how I ought to do the dishes but would rather take a shower, enjoying the carefree quiet of my house with Greta asleep and Josh at basketball practice, the thought struck me: "I really love staying at home." Caveat - it is the furthest thing in my mind to in any way bash, denigrate or put down mothers who like to work, prefer to work, or have to work. Ladies, my hat is off to you. I honestly don't know how you do it, but I respect ya'll very much for it. Especially you single moms. You are going to be lined up at the Pearly Gates way before I even apply for admission.

That said, I am incredibly blessed with a husband who is supportive of my being at home full time with our children, and that the said husband has a job which allows us to get by with only one bread winner. But even for that, there are times when I wonder if I'd prefer to go back to work, just for the extra income (who doesn't need that?) or the opportunity to do something other than watch my kid/kids all day. For better or worse, I come back to the same mental answers when I have this discussion with myself. Without further ado, "Why I Like to Stay at Home."

1) I am my own boss. I can't tell you how much I disliked answering to other people about work, or taking instructions. Maybe I put a good face on it when I worked, but I work so much better when I self-initiate projects. Home-making is one big exercise in self-initiating. My special talent is bossing other people around, or, as one could say more politely, "managing." As the oldest of six kids, I am really, really good at seeing things that need to be done and telling people to do them, or doing them efficiently and quickly by myself. Again, all good reasons why I should stay home and have multiple children.

2) I really like my kid. No, seriously, I do. Yes, I love her, but she is also very likeable. She is one of the main reasons why I'd like a lot of children because if there's the off chance that any of them may turn out as she did, my life will be very interesting if not hilarious. I always tell Josh that if I have to stay at home all day with one person, Greta is the one I'd pick. Now that she is walking and trying to talk, every day seems like an endless adventure with her. We literally do everything together, from going potty to making meals (yes, she is good at scrambling eggs). What I love about her right now is that she loves to do everything that I do, which makes menial tasks like laundry an adventure of the greatest proportion.

3) I love 'keeping house.' I'm not sure how this happened, but one of my favorite things is to clean and tidy my house... or maybe it's the pleasure of enjoying a clean and tidy house. Or both. I'm not sure. I know this joy may be short lived after the multiple children make their appearance, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. My back up plan is to (shhhh! don't tell the kids) make them clean the house regularly. My mom did this, but she wasn't always strict enough about it and we found ways to weasel out of tidying. But the thing is, 'tidying' and 'cleaning' are two different things. People can learn to put things back where they belong (tidying). If my kids prove too dense to learn this, I may send them all packing to Singapore, because I will not live in a sloppy house.

4) Last but not least, I enjoy the (current) freedom in my life. It may seem oxymoronic to tie staying at home with your children with freedom, but there you have it. But it was my experience that when I was working, I had a lot less time on my hands. Yes, you wise mothers of many children can shake your head and tell me this will all change once I have 2, 3, 4, 5 or how ever many kids, but for now, it's true. Maybe it's not so much that I have more free time now, but that I can do what I wish with the time that I have now. My baby is older now, I'm not terribly pregnant yet, and life has slowed down to the point where we find freedom in our simple, daily routine.

"What I miss about going to work."

1) Making money (my own!). It IS nice to have spending money and to have the ability to spend money without a guilty conscience. I guess that is part of the sacrifice of a single income because with student loans, home loans, home expenses, and all that, there isn't money to throw around. Still, I don't begrudge myself the occasional shopping spree at Old Navy because really, it makes for a better day when you know you look nice :)

2) Dressing up. If there is one thing you should know about me, it is that I love clothes. Not expensive clothes, name brands, or anything special, but rather, the art of putting things together and making them "work." Really, dressing is an art form. Having grown up in a family where dressing was considered a utilitarian exercise - necessary, but nothing to be indulged in - my 'revolt' as it were consisted in an intense appreciation of properly coordinated outfits. I'm not talking about "matchy-matchy." Rather, it's one of those things that you 'know it when you see it.' Now, going to work every day is an excellent opportunity to put those clothes-coordinating skills to good use. Dressing well serves both the functions of necessary and enjoyable. Also, it was much easier to justify to my long-suffering husband that my purchases were a "business expense." Alas, now that excuse is no longer water tight. I might get away with pleading that case for nursing bras, but it is hard to extend it to pencil skirts and heels, which I couldn't comfortably wear even on Sundays. I still make it a point to get dressed at home (as opposed to staying in pj's all day), but getting dressed so as to wake yourself up in the morning is not the same as getting dressed to look professional at work.